Dear Publix original New York style cheesecake: While your creamy sweet goodness was love at first bite, you've become a bit clingy. You hang around too much, you never leave! At 420 calories a SLICE, I am going to have to break up with you. I will come back and visit just once every now and then, but not often. I've got some bad ass new clothes waiting for me and you just don't fit in with us! With love, me?

It's January 3rd of a new year... people all over the world are making resolutions. They are usually with one of a few common themes. The problem is: how many of those will be broken by next week? I think we all look at our problems and erroneously assume that we will change something about ourselves with one simple statement. The truth is there are no quick fixes in life. Lifestyle changes are the only way to make a permanent difference in your life.

This leads to my current life goal; the one that has always seemed out of reach. I want to lose weight; a pretty good amount of weight. I just haven’t found the right way for me up until now. I try to start these programs but a good friend (and soon to be sister in law!) told me that I shouldn’t be ashamed of those programs being to hard. Most of them aren’t for complete beginners. P90X, ok I agree that it works. But that is not a program that most people can hop right off the couch day one and start busting ass like that program requires. Insanity- while I impressed myself in not falling out cardio-wise, I couldn’t handle the constant calisthenics at my current weight. I made it 45 minutes into the first DVD, and finally gave out due to my calves cramping up. I was so proud to have made it that far in; until I woke up the next morning. I could barely walk for a week. My calves were so destroyed that it inhibited me from doing anything else for quite awhile. So I gave up. I do what most people do. I start out so gung ho and excited. I want the weight to melt off with a nice 23 pound weight loss at the end of week one- hey it happens on The Biggest Loser right? I think this is a product of our society. We are the generation of “I want it NOW!” The problem is it has taken years for me to get the way I am. I’m not 400 pounds or anything, but I am WAY above the recommended weight range for my height. For those that think the BMI is ridiculous or “un-realistic” - it really isn’t. I am 5’0”, my weight range on the BMI scale should be between 97-128. At 138 pounds before I got pregnant with Jaden, I was soft everywhere but comfortable in my skin pretty much. I definitely would have felt even better about myself if I had lost another 10 pounds then- or had a more toned look at the 138. BMI is only ridiculous at judging the weight of men (unless you are an extremely muscled up woman!) BMI doesn’t take into account men’s muscles if they are built up.  I definitely don’t think I want to be at the 97lb end of that range, but that’s why it’s a range. Most importantly the number on the scale isn’t the real thing I am after.

What do I want out of weight loss? Lets be honest here we all want to look good. I want to be able to go in cute little shops and be able to come out with hot new clothes! I want to be able to get up and get dressed without changing 12 times because I feel too “fat” to wear something. I want to be able to go out with girlfriends and feel like I am just as pretty as them. Right now I am not able to think that way. There are things I love about myself. I love my eyes! I think they are a pretty color; I love how they look when I put on some fancy eye shadow and a double coat of mascara! I have had lots of compliments on them. I like my cheekbones, they aren’t super high model ones, but I have them and I think they are fitting of my face shape. I also like my calves- weird right? But I have always had muscular calves; they really don’t have much fat on them. They make me feel strong. Rob felt them one time and was surprised that they were in fact hard, not squishy! =)  My Aunt Lea put my feelings into perspective a long time ago with her saying “feeling like a busted can of biscuits!” Imagine popping open one of those cans of Pillsbury Grands- you know when you first crack the seal and the biscuit dough smushes out of the cracks… mmmhmmm lol no fun… I don’t want to feel like that anymore!

Everyone wants to look better but I want to FEEL better more importantly. I wake up at 9 or 10 am and want to go back to bed by 12. That’s ridiculous.  I am constantly tired, I never have any energy, and I get sick often… All reasons I need to change. I am currently on a path for diabetes, extremely high risk of heart disease, stroke, cancers are more prevalent in obese people- I don’t want to have all of these major problems. I don’t want to spend my life on the sidelines watching it pass me by. I want to be a good role model so my children don’t have to live their lives and feel this way one day.

So this is my challenge. It won’t happen overnight. It will be hard. There will be no fad diets or “10 minute miracles”, just feasible lifestyle changes. You can sweat out 10 pounds in 2 weeks I’m sure with some drink and fasting or what have you, but look at those that do that. How many actually get RID of that weight for good? Here’s to 2012 THE YEAR of getting it done!