10 Years Later.....

It's been ten years since I dropped out of high school. During the last decade I've given birth to three beautiful children, found a wonderful husband, and put myself on the back burner while taking care of everyone else. I've let my own goals and dreams fade into the background, silenced my own voice. Something about 2012 has lit a spark for me. I've decided to believe in myself. I've decided to get out there and do whatever it takes to accomplish the things I want in life. I have decided to break my shell and venture out into this great world!

I took my GED test earlier this year, after 10 years of being afraid to fail. Last week I received an invitation to attend the 2012 commencement at the Gwinnett Center. I spent a day or two deciding if I wanted to do this, I had a devil's advocate battle internally. On one hand I felt a little silly. It's just a GED right? I was suppose to graduate 8 years ago, do I really want my tassel to say '12? Is anyone going to want to attend to watch me "graduate"? On the other hand, this is an accomplishment. Of course it isn't "just a GED", its the start to taking control of my life. A statement to everyone else but more importantly myself, that I CAN do this, and nothing will stop me. Hanging that tassel with '12 on my rear view mirror will signify the year I decided my life is actually about me as well, that I can't just spend all of my time worrying about everyone else while I fade away. 

So I guess you know what I decided. Today I marched into that GED office with my $75 in hand, my filled in form, and a copy of my speech. What speech you ask? The letter that was sent to me said that if you would like to be a student speaker at the commencement you can submit a 5-10 minute speech for consideration. I had one person read and edit it and I was overwhelmed by her response. She loved it! I makes my heart sing to find that so many of you find me to be inspirational. So here goes nothing, I'm going to let you all in on a little bit of me. This is the speech I've written for the commencement ceremony. I'm not sure when they notify the ones that are chosen, but I will let you know when I do! 

~Til next time  ~K

     Eckhart Tolle once said, “The past has no power over the present moment”.   All of us here today have overcome obstacles to get to where we are.  I’d like to take a moment to thank everyone for allowing me to share a bit about my experience, as I’m sure others can relate their stories here as well. We have accomplished something great here today. Not only have we received our GED certificates, but we’ve taken back our lives. We have decided to stand up and acknowledge that we deserve the best of what this life has to offer. We have put aside our past, worked hard and achieved this great thing for the present, and set off on a path for a better future.

    At 16 years old I was already a high school dropout, and a mother to a little girl. I decided that because of my nontraditional path I had ruined my ability to get anywhere in life. I told myself that it was too late for me, that I didn‘t deserve anything more. At 18 years old I had a second child and got divorced within the year. I was living with my mom and couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. I worked overnight jobs, but I couldn’t figure out how I would ever do any better than that. Luckily I would find later on, that anything is possible as long as you put in the effort.

    Fast forward 10 years and it brings me to 2012. I’ve remarried a great man and had a third child. I have pushed any thoughts of education far from my mind because I’m a stay at home mother, and I feel guilty about taking any time away from my kids and my household. I started out 2012 doing things I’d never done before: I went kayaking for the first time and overcame my fear of the outdoors, I stood in the ocean; something I’d never really done because I’ve always been afraid of what I can’t see in the water, I started actually LIVING life and it was exciting. I started talking about getting my GED but I was afraid. As a child I was in gifted classes, always scored several grade levels above my class on tests, what if I failed? My sister in law came to me and told me that I should take the test. She encouraged me saying that I deserve to make something of myself. She told me that it doesn’t matter what choices you made in the past, the ones that matter are the ones you make now. She made me believe that I deserve to better myself, and that I owe it to my children to show them that there is no obstacle too great to climb. By doing it myself I will show them how important it is to get an education and how you can conquer anything if you just try hard enough. I took the math portion of the test first and had a small break. I was so nervous I was pacing the GED office, until the staff member at the desk noticed. She said, “Why are you nervous? You scored at the 98th percentile on your math test, calm down and go finish.” I was overwhelmed with pride! That moment gave me the confidence to plan my future!

    After receiving my GED certificate in the mail I put it in a frame. I always thought before that it was “just a GED” and no big deal. Today that piece of paper signifies the moment I stood up and took control of my life. I didn’t just give up and forget about me. I am currently enrolled in my first semester at a four year college, on the road to obtaining my degree in Early Childhood Education. I want to teach children from an early age that education is important, and that they can accomplish anything they set their minds to. I can not wait for the day I get to walk across the stage to receive that degree. I encourage all of my fellow GED graduates here today to take the road with me. No one says it is going to be easy, but it will be worth it!

    No matter what happened in your past you have the ability to change your future. Nothing is set in stone. All it takes is time and effort and knowing that we are worth it. I hope all of my peers leave here today empowered with pride and the initiative to continue on to a technical college or four year institution, our journey doesn’t have to stop here today. Congratulations on taking back your lives!